Freak Magnet Dave

I recently went through a bunch of old e-mail (I keep everything!) and discovered a letter that I wrote to my buddy Mary after a trip to the east coast. I mentioned to her that The Squeeze and I went on a whale watching tour that was a nightmare. She asked for details. So since I'm a lazy ass, I'm copying it below. She got quite a kick out of it.

So the whale watch...sounds like a good time - in theory.

The tour was supposed to last about 3 hours. We got on the boat at 1:30, and the weather was looking like it was clearing up (it had been foggy for about the last two weeks there). There were probably about 70 people or so on this boat and once we got out into the Bay of Fundy, the fog rolled in again. Couldn't see more than about 50 to 100 feet from the boat. It got cold, luckily we knew about that so we had our winter jackets with us.

It got very rough and choppy, which wouldn't be a problem, but the captain kept cutting the motor and stopping the boat so we could listen for the whales spouting. It was at these times (and there were many) that you really felt the effect of the waves. It was pretty close to 4 hours and we still didn't see a whale, but they guarantee you'll see one (if it's the last thing you do). The crew told us that if we started feeling queasy to focus on the horizon. Good idea...if only there WAS a horizon. Fog looks like fog in any direction.

There were about a dozen people hanging over the railings "feeding the fish" if you get my drift. I was SOOOOO close to joining them. I was so nauseaus I was just praying for sweet death. I sat on the hard cold bench and pulled my coat around my head and made like a turtle. An elderly couple that The Squeeze and I were sitting and chatting to had said to The Squeeze "You're friend isn't looking too good". Actually, The Squeeze was still talking to them...I cut out long ago and tried to will myself from the entire situation. It had nothing to do with the couple. They were lovely people, I just couldn't make myself speak to anyone for fear that I would open my mouth and pull a Mr. Creosote.

People were pleading with the crew to go back to land, but they just kept starting and stopping, starting and stopping. FINALLY we heard a spout. So they start the engine again and keep searching for this whale in the fog. Probably about half an hour later we finally see it. A mother humpback and her calf. They gave us a nice show, from what I recall. Of course at this point I was so sick, the thought of looking through the viewfinder of the camera was not an option, so I didn't get any pictures.

We followed the whales for quite some time before we finally turned around....at least I think we turned around....with all that fog I have no idea for sure. We got back to the dock at about 7:30. I could have kissed the ground. Or thrown up on it. Either way.

I feel nauseaus just thinking about it again. We drove back to the B&B (including two ferry rides), and searched for Gravol, but the town we were staying in rolls up the sidewalks at 5:00 on Saturdays, so I just had to do my best to not throw up. I finally found some at a drug store the following day. Yep, that's right I was still feeling the urge to vomit the following day.

A guy in the B&B we stayed in was on the cruise with his wife too and he said he felt the same way. He was washing his face the next morning and when he closed his eyes he felt dizzy.

I took more than my fair share of Gravol before we left that B&B and headed for Halifax. I slept the entire way and felt groggy for the next couple of days. Sure beat the hell out of feeling like throwing up!

So that's why I never went to college. I mean, so that's my tale of the whale watch.

Well, I must be off now.
Call me,
Ishmael

You know...looking back at that letter, it still makes me feel ill. It's actually put me off my lunch.
Oh, BTW that "So that's why I never went to college" line is from a little video called Sorority Girls From Hell that my friends and I watched, taped and memorized the entire dialogue of back in the late 80's (or was it early 90's?...who knows?). It came from a tv show called Mike Nesmith's Television Parts (yep, THAT Mike Nesmith from The Monkees). If there are any suggestions as to how to save this video to my computer so I can put it on my iPod, I would love to hear it!