Sunday, August 26, 2007


Kinda Bummed

For the past several months, Weezie (my baby momma) has been working toward getting a new house for her, her mother, and the girls. She had a house next door to her mother's, but it was pretty small and she really needs to have each girl in their own room. Otherwise, it could be a nightmare what with Zoe rocking and nattering on forever when she's put to bed and keeping Brynn up. Likewise, when Brynn wakes up and cries, Zoe would be woken up too. It could make for two tired, unbearable children. Weezie sold her house earlier this year and she moved in temporarily with her mother next door. Weezie and Zoe sleep in the two bedrooms in the basement (which used to be my apartment once upon a time), and her mother and Brynn sleep in the two bedrooms on the main floor. It's not an ideal situation as Weezie's mother has some knee and hip problems and going up and down the stairs is a bit painful for her.

A few weeks back, Weezie sold her cottage on the lake just outside of Hooterville. This, in addition to the money she got from selling her house, would allow her to purchase a new home that they could all live in comfortably. Once that is done, her mother could sell her house and have a little extra bingo money.

Weezie has been looking around for a few weeks now for the perfect place, but hasn't been having any luck. Anything in her price range doesn't have the layout (4 bedrooms on the same floor, living room, family room, eat-in kitchen and dining room) she wants. All the places that do have it all are way out of her price range in this area.

Last week she informed me that she was going to put an offer in on a place in Hooterville! That's about an hour from The Squeeze and me. We felt this sense of sadness and seperation when we heard this. The idea that she's moving the girls away from us was a bit of a blow. We felt like we weren't going to be able to see them as often. We'd have to drive so much further. I might have to trade in the ark for something a bit more fuel efficient.

Enough about us. The benefit of her moving to Hooterville is that she has a lot more support there. Most of her friends live there. My parents live there. Another couple that I know and have a very close bond with live right across the street from this house. If she's at work and one of the kids has to be sent home from daycare because they're sick (Zoe is the little queen of fevers), she has any number of people who could pick them up rather than drive an hour back home. Ya, she'd be commuting every day, but she's a nurse and can transfer to the local hospital or seniors' home if need be. The other thing that scares me about this move is that there's an in-ground pool in the back yard. Don't get me started on the fears THAT brings up!

But look at me jumping the gun. She was only putting an offer in. If they accepted her lowball offer, great. If not, it wasn't meant to be and she'll keep looking.

Weezie called me Saturday. They accepted her offer.

She's getting an inspection Monday. If all goes well, it's a done deal.

She's already looked into child-proof fencing around the pool and a pool alarm. That sets my mind at ease. I see the benefits to this move. So much more support. I grew up there, and it's a great place for a kid to grow up. There's a huge park and school behind their fence. My parents can see the girls more. And really, I used to make that drive daily to work before I moved. I'm sure I can handle doing it on Sundays. We could even take the girls overnight Saturday and come back Sunday afternoon with them. This could actually mean we'll get to spend more time with them.

We got to look after them today while Weezie was in Hooterville for a shower, and it was a blast. Brynn is at the stage where she's taking about two or three steps all by herself. She'll be booting around on her own in no time. She does the cutest thing where she climbs on pillows on the floor, lies down, and just laughs her butt off. Zoe informed me that she had to use the potty, so we hung out in the bathroom and waited for a while until we heard a little one second tinkle. Yay!

*Sniff* they grow up so fast.

Sometimes I just sit back and think "who would have ever thought my life would take all of these twists and turns?"

Friday, August 24, 2007


Our Week At The Cottage

We returned from our relaxing and booze-filled vacation on August 18th, and I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to get on here until tonight. I'm sure FWIG will have some tales to tell, but this is my story. And I'm sticking to it! So here's a recap of the week...

After getting the ark loaded nearly to the ceiling, The Squeeze and I headed down the highway and picked up FWIG. How we managed to add his stuff (golf clubs and all) to the already packed ark, I really don't know. We stopped at a sub shop moments after that for a quick lunch before taking the long trek north. The strange fellow behind the counter kept making odd comments about my sub selection. "That's a pretty big sub, eh?" And while we sat eating, he even called out "How are you enjoying that sub?" Ya, buddy, just give me the sub, leave me alone and nobody gets hurt.

We followed the directions provided by the owner, and finally made our way down the long stone driveway. And I mean long. It wound and swerved around for quite some time until we
made it to this quaint little bridge.
Ya, I gasped. I figured that the weight of the ark, the mountain of luggage and of course the three strapping lads inside would surely break those dried up little boards like twigs and we'd be the headline in the local paper if and when we are found.

As I slowly approached the bridge, I inhaled deeply, because everyone knows that doing that removes about 800 pounds or so from the vehicle. I'm sure you already know that we made it across without a problem. Clever little readers you are!

Another short jaunt beyond that we found the cottage and its owner, Murray, awaiting our arrival. Murray gave us the grand tour and instructed us on the procudures for getting water to the tank and using the propane lights, etc. etc. After I signed my life and bank account away, Murray headed home and we began to unload the booze. I mean...ok, ya, I mean booze. Part of the plan of this week was for The Squeeze and I to get rid of a lot of the partially full bottles of assorted booze and a lot of our wine from the wine rack. I think we had about 5 or 6 cases of booze. There would be no need to visit a liquor store. Until Monday. Hey, we ran out of vodka. What can I say? It was a big seller.

But let's get back to Saturday, shall we?

By the time we unloaded everything and claimed our rooms, the local grocery store was closed. Having no food to eat for dinner, we decided to go out to a local restaurant for dinner. We figured we'd do the same for breakfast the next morning and then do our shopping for the remainder of the week. We found a little greasy spoon on the outskirts of the nearby town. Interestingly enough it was called "Outskirts". Some places just name themselves. The signs posted on the door seeking an experienced cook and waitstaff should have made us think twice, but we were hungry and perhaps temporarily blind.

There were maybe 5 or 6 tables of townsfolk sitting around the place and only one waitress for the place. That wouldn't be a problem in most restaurants, but for some reason it just seemed to spell disaster. Lucky for me I ordered soup to start because that would have to do me for about an hour while we waited for our food to arrive. FWIG, after mocking me for my general love of soup, eventually broke down and ordered a bowl before his stomach began to consume itself. We had both ordered fish & chips, The Squeeze ordered a stuffed pork dish. At one point, the waitress finally appeared and apologized for the delay. "The fish is frozen, so we have to [I can't believe I'm typing this] unthaw it." Unthaw. No wonder it took so long. It must be quite a challenge to re-freeze frozen fish. How does one know when it's done?

Finally we saw her emerge with a couple of plates and she walked toward our table, and kept on going to the table behind us. Oh. My. God. We were thinking everyone else in the place was already done. Turns out this cruel trick would be played on us a few more times before at long last our food was delivered. I wouldn't be exaggerating if I said we sat there for about an hour before the food arrived. The fish was edible at best. The Squeeze's pork was bone dry. By this time though I could have eaten the business end of a dead skunk.

We blew that popsicle stand, hit a variety store for some bread, milk, cheese and crackers, each grabbed an ice cream cone for dessert and headed back to the cottage. I'm going to guess that we cracked open a bottle of wine, and then we headed down to the dock to lay back and look at the amazing display of stars in the black sky. A great night to a hectic day.

The day began with the three of us making our way to the local tourist information centre. What better place to get a good recommendation for a decent restaurant for breakfast. They didn't steer us wrong. We loaded up on a great breakfast and moved on to get our groceries. And man, did we shop! I think we blew over $300 that day alone. We picked up enough cheese to bind up a senior's home.
When we arrived back at the cottage, we found our friend Pablo and his dog Chilli had arrived. This guy really loves Ontario's northland. He flew in from Vancouver for this vacation. I'm not sure if he ever revealed to us how he made it inside the locked cottage while we were gone.

This is how Chilli spent the entire week:

Our first dinner together that night was pretty amazing. Planked salmon, roasted corn on the cob along with some rice and asparagus. Ummm....ya, and a couple bottles of wine.

FWIG wrote a little something in the guest book that the owners keep for people to leave their comments. He wrote a week's worth of posts from the point of view of a man who seemingly is driven mad while at the cottage. Complete with mention of the rain making the ground easier to dig "the holes", and the lake looking like blood. And I was kinda hoping we might rent the place sometime in the future.

The Rest of the Week:
OK, it's a bit of a blur. Could have been all the booze, I don't know. All I can say is that it involved some Lego

a three day Monopoly game

some scenery

uhhh.....ya (and this is with a couple of cases of wine hidden in the bedroom closet)

a huge honkin' dock spider up FWIG's shirt (EWWWWWWWW!!!!)

and one tired Chilli dog.

To my amazement, I received a note from the owners with my deposit refund yesterday. This is the note:

Did that say "it has all happened"?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


A Break Between Vacations

Here I am at home again. But just for a few days. We returned from our trip to St. Louis on Tuesday and I managed to get the majority of the laundry done before we head up north on Saturday. I'm really looking forward to getting up there to relax. St. Louis was a great time, and we spent a lot of quality time with friends old and new. One day we made our way to the St. Louis Zoo and despite the heat had a great time.

Our flights down there went off without a hitch as did our drive back with our friends. Luggage arrived where we did, no delays. All was well.

The one thing that didn't go well was the fact that I was away from the treadmill for nearly a week, and although we didn't go crazy with food, somehow I managed to pack on about ten pounds! Yes, that's right, ten pounds! What a blow to the spirit that is. How can something that takes three or four weeks to get rid of come back in less than a week? How unfair is that? I even made a point to not have dessert after meals because I was trying to be good. I can't imagine what would have happened if I had them. YIKES!

I was so exhausted when I got to bed last night. Unfortunately, this morning at 8:00 we were expecting our new plumber to show up and check out the job. I barely made it out of bed by 7:30 in time for my shower, so there was no exercise this morning either. The reason I didn't get on the treadmill this morning is that it is in the next room to the master bedroom. Since it gets kind of warm up here, I tend to wear the bare minimum while I'm on it, and believe me, it's nothing I want to subject the poor plumber to. As it turned out, he didn't arrive until after 9:00. He's working away in the next room as I type, and it will probably take him 2 (possibly 3 days). I swear I'll be on the treadmill tonight.

Tomorrow I'll be at work while my business partner has some appointments. It sucks to have to work during vacation, but what the hell. I'm home and don't have much else planned. Aside from catching up on sleep. I hope to do a lot of that next week.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007


Another Update

For some reason I was thinking that this would take me out of the "MORBID" category. Actually, it appears that I might still be a few ounces away. Oh well, close enough for me! Hopefully by tomorrow it will be official and I'll have a BMI less than 40. Keep those fingers crossed.


Vacation, All I Ever Wanted

Well kids, today's my last day here at the salt mine for a few weeks. WooHoo!

Tonight we're packing our bags and getting ready to take off tomorrow night. The Squeeze has to work Thursday, but I'm taking it off to get some running around done. I'm going to take Brynn to Hooterville to visit my folks and celebrate my father's birthday a day early. It's always fun to spend time with her. Brynn, that is. I'm not calling my father "her". She's cutting more teeth, so she's drooling like a St. Bernard. A really, really, cute St. Bernard.

After we get our shit together, we're taking a shuttle to Buffalo where we will spend half a night. That's right. Half a night. Because we have to be at the airport at 4:00. AM. That means we have to be up around 3:00 which means we'll only have about 4 hours of....oh God, I can't think about it. Then we make our way to St. Louis by way of Chicago. It's strange, but I'm really not worried about not having our luggage transferred when we stop in Chicago. I'm sure everything will work out fine.

We'll be spending a few days with some friends there and will be driving back with a couple from Montreal that we know. There was a whole lot of planning to arrange this screwed up schedule!

When we get back the middle of next week, we'll have time to do laundry, relax a bit, and maybe do a couple of things around the house. Then we're heading north for a week of relaxation at the secluded cottage without electricity. We've still got to get all the gear so The Squeeze can use his CPAP machine. Damned sleep apnea. It didn't really dawn on me until after I booked the cottage with "propane appliances and lights" that we need electricity to run that thing. Who knew? So we need to get a generator from my brother, a battery of some sort and an inverter (whatever the hell THAT is).

My main concern is that I don't lose focus and start eating crap. It's bad enough I'll be away from the treadmill for nearly two weeks. That reminds me...I need to look up what to do to avoid being attacked by a bear while in the woods. Someone said bring a bell. Someone else told me to carry a big stick. I guess that way the bear can signal for his next course with the bell after eating me. And I'm sure the stick will make a nice toothpick.

If I don't check in late next week, I'll catch you all after August 18th!

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