Freak Magnet Dave

Monday morning I was at home waiting for a couple of moving companies to come over to give a quote on moving our stuff to the new place. The first guy showed up about half an hour early just as I was getting out of the shower. I hate when that happens. When I schedule an appointment, I generally arrive at that time. Maybe that's just me.

So I got my quotes from both companies and I set about calling the cable company to transfer the cable tv and internet service to the new place. I've decided to plunk down a good sum of money on digital cable with a few channel packages and the purchase of a digital video recorder. Essentially, it's the same thing as Tivo, but we can't buy Tivo here in Canada. WTF is that all about anyway?

Anyway...to preface what took place...once upon a time, The Squeeze's brother, The Slug, lived in the house with their mother before she passed away. After that, The Squeeze moved in and the two of them were there for a couple of months before The Squeeze asked me to move in with him. After we all lived there for what I'm told was about a year (but felt like 20) we asked The Slug to go. This was due to a number of reasons that I won't get into here. At any rate, we went on to stay in the house for another 9 or so years until now when we are getting ready for the big move.

So I called the cable company to inform them of the change, and lo and behold, I'm not able to cancel the cable tv because it's in The Slug's name. The Squeeze has been paying the bill all these years. I guess he opted to do this rather than pay for a disconnect and reconnect fee way back when.

"Thank you for calling Bend Over And Take It Dry Cable Company, how can I help you?"
"I'm moving and would like to transfer my tv and internet service."
"OK, I can do that. May I have your name?"
"Sure, it's Freak Magnet Dave."
"And your phone number?"
"1-800-NO-FREAK"
"I have the internet registered to you, but the tv service is registered to a Mr. Slug."
"Well, he actually is no longer at this address and hasn't been for a number of years."
"I'm sorry, he's the only one authorized to cancel it."
"And what if we're not able to find him to have him cancel it?"
"Then it will go to collections."
"You mean to tell me that you would continue to provide cable to a house we're no longer living in, knowing that the bill will not be paid by us, and you will try to send a collection agency after the person it is registered to, without a forwarding or known address rather than cancel the account?"
"Yes."
"Even though you will most likely never see that money?"
"Yes."
"Does that make any sense at all?"
"I'm sorry sir, The Slug is the only person who can cancel the account."

Can you believe it? How ridiculous is that policy? I managed to get a call through to The Slug and asked him to cancel the service. He called me back to let me know it was done a few minutes later. I would have tried it myself using his name, but with my luck I'd be busted if they asked me any info like his date of birth or account number. Apparently they didn't ask him anything. He just had to state his name and that was it. How fucked is that!?

Sadly, our new place is serviced by the same company, so unless I want to go with satellite and the crappy so-called "high speed" provided by the alternative, we're stuck with them. Fortunately, when I called back, even though the call took about 30 minutes, the rep I was dealing with was much nicer than the first guy. OK, maybe I shouldn't say that. The guy was only doing his job, and I guess he wasn't being snotty about it, but that whole policy of theirs just chaps my ass.

I think the majority of notices I needed to make for the move are done now. We just need to concentrate on the move itself. Sooooooo close!