Freak Magnet Dave

I give up. After the whole Thanksgiving stuck-in-the-backseat-of-my-car episode, I finally relented and admitted that my sporty 2003 Honda Accord V6 coupe is simply not....practical. Yes, boys and girls, I'm growing up. It's time to admit that I'm the adult that I've unwittingly become.

I recall some twenty years ago, my friend Darryl and I would talk about what we believed would be our untimely deaths due to our mis-spent youth. "Two Hooterville Youths Die In Horrific Alcohol-Fueled Crash" would be the headline. The funny thing is, we continued to refer to ourselves as "youths" (or "yoots" to Vinny fans) as we neared our 40's. OK, we STILL do it! "Hooterville Youth Falls And Breaks A Hip". We just don't feel old enough to be considered "men".

But as I found myself prowling the car lots and taking great interest in Honda Pilot SUVs (I just LOVE my Hondas), I realized that it has happened. Adulthood has tracked me down. I am partnered with The Squeeze for over 11 years now, I own a business, we own a home, and I am a father. I am lugging strollers and swings and carseats around. I need to do this.

I did some internet research and found a well-priced 2003 Pilot in a nearby town and Wednesday evening I took the drive there to test it out. The Squeeze was working in that town on that day and met me at the dealership shortly after I took the SUV out for a test drive. We worked out some numbers, determined what they would offer for my car (which in my opinion is never enough), and calculated what my payments would be. I took The Squeeze out in it for a quick spin, and he was impressed as well. "I think it's a good idea. You should go for it", he said. I was somewhat shocked. Normally he is the voice of reason, and I'm the impulsive, determined one with the crazy ideas, and here he was encouraging me. Surely, the planets are out of alignment.

We returned to the sales office and I signed some papers and shook some hands. I've added on about a year and a half more payments than I had remaining on the Accord, but I really can't continue to drive that car with a baby and her accessories. I'm sure a number of our full-figure friends will rejoice in knowing they no longer have to contort their way in and out of that back seat again.

Saturday we make the trade. I will hand in my keys, a void cheque, and my car. I will drive in a sports car driving 41 year old youth, and will leave an SUV driving adult.