Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Time Flies. But The Freaks Remain
I can't believe it's been a year since I've started rolling my eyes here on virtual paper. My first entry was right after my 40th birthday, which means I'm 41 now. Or 39 if you subscribe to the decreasing number after 40 theory, which is sounding pretty good to me right now. Just think, 20 years from now my daughter and I will be the same age. OK, that's just weird.
I've got a boatload of work ahead of me today, but it's pretty mindless assembly line type stuff. We have a contract to frame around 30 pieces for a client, and they are all pretty much the exact same thing, so it's going to go pretty fast.
But of course, it wouldn't be a day here without some crazy request. The first thing this morning, I got a call from some woman at so-and-so's office:
"Remember you framed this thing for me umpteen years ago?"
"Um, ya, sure." Of course I didn't.
"We have another job for you if you can do it."
"Shouldn't be a problem."
"There are three certificates we need done, but we want them to match another one we had done."
"Sure. Was it one that we did?" Luckily, being computerized helps in this case. We keep every number of every item used on here so we can easily duplicate a piece if required.
"I don't think so. This one was done ages ago. It's got a sort of gold or brass frame and a kind of green mat. Does that sound familiar?"
(Can you hear my eyes roll?)
"Hmmm...well, we have around 8 or 9 thousand mouldings here, and about 50 or so different greens, so we'd really have to see the one you want to match so we can get the right mat colour and hopefully find the same frame if it's still available."
"Oh, so how will we do this?"
"Well, the best way would be to bring in the one you want to match."
"Alright. I'll see if I can bring it in with me."
"That would really need to be done, because I guarantee if you came here without it, you would be overwhelmed with the possibilities, and the odds of picking the right pieces without having the other one here are next to none."
"OK, I'll try. Oh, and so if I bring everything in this afternoon, will I be able to have everything ready for tomorrow morning?"
"Excuse me?"
"My boss would like to have this all done for tomorrow morning. Is that possible?"
"Absolutely not."
"Really? How come?"
"Usual turnaround time is one to two weeks. We need to order the mats and the frames from our suppliers, and most of them deliver once a week. Then we need to cut the mats and assemble the pictures."
"Oh, you don't have everything there?"
"Like I said we have 8 or 9 thousand moulding samples. If we carried stock of all of those mouldings we would need a place ten times the size of our shop."
"OK....I guess I'll just drop them off then and he'll have to wait."
"Sorry. Unfortunately, custom work tends to take a bit of time to do."
"That's alright. Then I'll stop by later on with the certificates."
"And don't forget the piece you want to match."
"I'll try to get it."
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! Are these people sent to me as a test of some sort? Here, frame these things, but have them look like the one someone else did years ago, but I can't bring it in to show it to you. Ya, no problem. Let me get the wand. Can I make a diamond for you from a piece of dog shit while I'm at it? Maybe sprinkle some magic pixie dust and make a unicorn appear? What the fuck?
I'm really thinking I need a vacation. Luckily The Squeeze and I are both taking a week off later this month. We're not going anywhere or doing anything besides working on the house, but it will be nice to get away from here for a week.
Let the countdown begin.
I've got a boatload of work ahead of me today, but it's pretty mindless assembly line type stuff. We have a contract to frame around 30 pieces for a client, and they are all pretty much the exact same thing, so it's going to go pretty fast.
But of course, it wouldn't be a day here without some crazy request. The first thing this morning, I got a call from some woman at so-and-so's office:
"Remember you framed this thing for me umpteen years ago?"
"Um, ya, sure." Of course I didn't.
"We have another job for you if you can do it."
"Shouldn't be a problem."
"There are three certificates we need done, but we want them to match another one we had done."
"Sure. Was it one that we did?" Luckily, being computerized helps in this case. We keep every number of every item used on here so we can easily duplicate a piece if required.
"I don't think so. This one was done ages ago. It's got a sort of gold or brass frame and a kind of green mat. Does that sound familiar?"
(Can you hear my eyes roll?)
"Hmmm...well, we have around 8 or 9 thousand mouldings here, and about 50 or so different greens, so we'd really have to see the one you want to match so we can get the right mat colour and hopefully find the same frame if it's still available."
"Oh, so how will we do this?"
"Well, the best way would be to bring in the one you want to match."
"Alright. I'll see if I can bring it in with me."
"That would really need to be done, because I guarantee if you came here without it, you would be overwhelmed with the possibilities, and the odds of picking the right pieces without having the other one here are next to none."
"OK, I'll try. Oh, and so if I bring everything in this afternoon, will I be able to have everything ready for tomorrow morning?"
"Excuse me?"
"My boss would like to have this all done for tomorrow morning. Is that possible?"
"Absolutely not."
"Really? How come?"
"Usual turnaround time is one to two weeks. We need to order the mats and the frames from our suppliers, and most of them deliver once a week. Then we need to cut the mats and assemble the pictures."
"Oh, you don't have everything there?"
"Like I said we have 8 or 9 thousand moulding samples. If we carried stock of all of those mouldings we would need a place ten times the size of our shop."
"OK....I guess I'll just drop them off then and he'll have to wait."
"Sorry. Unfortunately, custom work tends to take a bit of time to do."
"That's alright. Then I'll stop by later on with the certificates."
"And don't forget the piece you want to match."
"I'll try to get it."
OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! Are these people sent to me as a test of some sort? Here, frame these things, but have them look like the one someone else did years ago, but I can't bring it in to show it to you. Ya, no problem. Let me get the wand. Can I make a diamond for you from a piece of dog shit while I'm at it? Maybe sprinkle some magic pixie dust and make a unicorn appear? What the fuck?
I'm really thinking I need a vacation. Luckily The Squeeze and I are both taking a week off later this month. We're not going anywhere or doing anything besides working on the house, but it will be nice to get away from here for a week.
Let the countdown begin.
# posted by Dave @ 10:15 AM 
Comments:
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Wow! I can't believe it's been a year already! Where does the time go?
I still need to make Brynn that baby blanket! So much to knit, so little time!!
I still need to make Brynn that baby blanket! So much to knit, so little time!!
I know! I can't believe it. So much has happened in this past year. I'm glad I've been doing this blog, if for nothing else, at least to remind myself of when certain things took place.
You SO don't need to worry about a blanket for Brynn. Speaking of her, I have her overnight on Saturday. I'm thinking of taking Gravol Friday night so I'm sure to get some sleep and be in better form than the last time. I get so worked up thinking about the next day sometimes I just can't sleep, and two sleepless nights makes for a very miserable Sunday for everyone around me. We'll be taking her to see my family for Thanksgiving on Sunday too, so I really need my sleep.
Wish me luck!
You SO don't need to worry about a blanket for Brynn. Speaking of her, I have her overnight on Saturday. I'm thinking of taking Gravol Friday night so I'm sure to get some sleep and be in better form than the last time. I get so worked up thinking about the next day sometimes I just can't sleep, and two sleepless nights makes for a very miserable Sunday for everyone around me. We'll be taking her to see my family for Thanksgiving on Sunday too, so I really need my sleep.
Wish me luck!
Dave, Dave, Dave. You're failing to meet your clients' expectations. This isn't good. You should just build a few factories in your back room - you know - a glass-blowing operation. a paper mill, die-making outfit, a plastics fabrication plant etc...
Cut the crap with this 'suppliers' excuse. It doesn't fly in this day and age.
Oh - I can hook you up with some Pixie dust by the way (note that Pixie's prefer a capital P - ahem).
But you can't get a Unicorn that way. The only place to get a unicorn is from a mommmy and daddy unicorn. They're very old-fashioned that way.
Anyways - I really just wanted to say 'Hi' and I hope you and the Squeeze and the Squirtlet are all doing well and did you get my message about the play? I shall need to order tickets soon.
Slainte and - you know - pfymw.
FWG
Cut the crap with this 'suppliers' excuse. It doesn't fly in this day and age.
Oh - I can hook you up with some Pixie dust by the way (note that Pixie's prefer a capital P - ahem).
But you can't get a Unicorn that way. The only place to get a unicorn is from a mommmy and daddy unicorn. They're very old-fashioned that way.
Anyways - I really just wanted to say 'Hi' and I hope you and the Squeeze and the Squirtlet are all doing well and did you get my message about the play? I shall need to order tickets soon.
Slainte and - you know - pfymw.
FWG
FWG:
I knew I could count on you for fairy dust...umm...I mean Pixie dust, ya, that's it.
Oops...yep, we forgot to get back to you about that play. We'll check out the dates when we're at home together and see if we can work something out. Aside from all that, yep, things are cruising along nicely. We're both off the week of Oct. 23. Might get some work done around the house!
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I knew I could count on you for fairy dust...umm...I mean Pixie dust, ya, that's it.
Oops...yep, we forgot to get back to you about that play. We'll check out the dates when we're at home together and see if we can work something out. Aside from all that, yep, things are cruising along nicely. We're both off the week of Oct. 23. Might get some work done around the house!
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