Wednesday, April 11, 2007


Woop De Freaking Doo

So the DNA test is back and Larry Birkhead is Anna Nicole Smith's babydaddy. Surprised? Me neither. After all, I never saw the baby oozing slime, so it was pretty obvious it wasn't Howard K. Stern's.

I just can't get over how obsessed the great unwashed have been over this whole ordeal. I just took a peek at a few of the hundreds of posts at and it's just astounding to see how so many of the people who have left comments think that this somehow involved them.

"Way to go Larry, I was behind you the whole time."
"I knew Howard wasn't the father."
"I just hope Virgie doesn't get her hooks into that precious little girl."
"Larry, protect her and keep her safe from the evil demons Howard and Virgie."

Oh my God. I had to stop with the quotes. I kinda threw up a bit in my mouth. Does this pack of National Enquirer-thumpers really think that this really has the slightest thing to do with them? I want to line them all up and give one, long, bitch-slap to the entire lot of them. Just how many of these drooling slobs have been more engaged with this fiasco than in the lives of their own children? They talk about the players like they have known them all their lives. They sound as if they have some personal insight into what these people are really like. Give me a freaking break!

There was one post that I found most accurate. Something about the baby's mother being a skanky, drugged-out, non-functional sorry excuse for a human being (let alone a celebrity), and that the best thing for that baby would be to get removed from the whole lot of them.

From the glimpses of media surrounding this train wreck, I can only say that something about Stern creeps me out and I wouldn't be surprised to see him implicated in Anna Nicole's death (and her son's), Virgie seems like a bit of a lost case, and Larry seems to be the only one who is involved in all of this because of love. Maybe that's just the weepy biological father in me, but I'm glad things ended up this way. I'm just a bit disturbed how he reacted with his arms in the air, like he just won the lottery. Ahh....ok, nevermind.

Now everyone can get back to their lives. How about that Valerie Bertinelli getting on the Jenny Craig bandwagon or whoever happens to be on the cover on the scandal rags this week. What!? It's still Anna Nicole on there?

I'm amazed at the insanity surrounding Anna Nicole Smith's life and death. That being said, somehow I just knew Larry Birkhead was the father - or wanted him to be, because as you said he seemed less slimy and grasping than the rest of them.
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