Friday, April 18, 2008


Up All Night

This past month or so dealing with my mother's sudden illness and subsequent passing has been somewhat of a living nightmare. Aside from all of the emotional and familial dealings, my physical self has taken a shit-kicking.

I have been travelling to Hooterville on a nearly daily basis ever since my mother was first admitted to the hospital. I would be there on my days off and I made the trek right after work pretty much every day. On my way, I would grab some kind of offensive food substitute to tide me over for the evening instead of the fairly healthy meals I'm used to having with The Squeeze. A burger and fries was often the choice for its ease of eating while driving and it's ease of access en route. Then there were the countless cups of coffee and donuts or cookies or whatever horrible thing my stressed body was craving. I admit it. I'm an emotional eater. And the dinner bell has been ringing loud and steady. Add to that the fact that I have had a pinched sciatic nerve for over a month that makes it difficult to stand let alone get on the treadmill as I used to every morning.

I've been noticing the pants are feeling a bit more snug, and I just feel kind of...well...gross. I hopped on the scale the other morning to find that I had gained nearly 20 pounds. I was startled, but not surprised. I managed to drag my ass onto the treadmill a couple of times this week, flopping my "pins & needles"-filled right leg around like something that was not of my own body. After a while I felt like how I imagined Terry Fox felt as he ran across Canada. Not to minimize his heroic effort, at least he didn't have a leg that pain shot through at every step.

I'm really trying to be good. I'm trying to get back in the swing of healthy eating, though I'm still making visits to see my father here and there. I just need to stay out of the drive-throughs.

Last night, my business partner and our Squeezes decided to go out for dinner. There's a roadhouse down the street from my shop and they recently delivered a menu and flyer promoting their specials. On Thursdays they have a deal on their burgers. Normally the burger and fries is $8.95, Thursdays, all day, they are $3.00. OK, so the fries aren't included in the deal, so that makes it $4.00. Five dollars if you want cheese. I thought I'd try a little appetizer they called "Hot Pepper Bottle Caps". I sort of imagined jalapeno poppers, filled with a cooling cream cheese. What arrived were disc-shaped slices of jalapenos, breaded and fried, with a ranch dipping sauce. The business partner and his Squeeze have wheat issues, so they couldn't help me, and The Squeeze isn't much into hot spicy stuff. He did try one or two, and I thought his eyes would fly from their sockets. It was left to me to polish off. They were mighty hot going down, but I figured I could handle it.

I had my burger and fries and a glass of beer and we decided to call it a night and head home. I got into bed and fell asleep around 10:30. I woke at 11:00 to the sound of The Squeeze snoring. I felt wide awake. I went down to the rec room and worked on a puzzle and watched a couple of TV shows I DVR'd that night. I finally felt tired again, so went back to bed around 1:30. I think I slept maybe another half hour and woke up again. I felt like I had a cannonball in my stomach. I think my stomach was fighting a losing battle with the hot peppers.

I made several trips to the bathroom last night, and at one point decided I'd just crawl into the bed in the guest room rather than disturb The Squeeze with my constant door opening and closing and hopping in and out of bed.

Let me just say that by the time early morning rolled around, the peppers had found their way out. And I thought they were hot going in! Were it physically possible for me to do so, I would have done a handstand in the shower to cool off.

I'm at work now, still feeling that cannonball in my stomach. I don't think those peppers are done with me yet. I have my "Back in 5 minutes" sign at the ready. Have at me peppers. I won't soon make that mistake again.

I'm giggling at your pain...isn't that awful of me? ;-)
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