Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Nearing the End

My father was taken in to see his oncologist yet again yesterday. He had a bone scan last week, and they determined that the cancer hasn't spread to his bones, but the cancer in his liver has spread and is very aggressive. My brother asked the doctor what kind of time line they were looking at. My sister and my father didn't want to know, so the doctor spoke with my brother privately. Last night when I got in from work, my sister-in-law (the family bearer of bad news) called me to give me the update. She asked if I wanted to know. After a long pause, I decided that I would rather know the prognosis. She informed me that my father has between 3 to 6 months.

The doctor again suggested that he should make alternate living arrangements rather than staying in his house alone. In the recent past my sister and another of my brothers has offered to have him move in with them, as they have one-floor homes, and he has refused. He still wants to stay at home. My sister-in-law suggested that we take turns staying with him until such time comes that he is not physically able to get around and will likely be hospitalized.

At this point only two of my brothers and myself are aware of the time he has left. My sister and my other brother do not know, nor do any of the grandchildren. The Squeeze asked me last night after the call whether or not I'd like to know how much time I had left if I were in my father's shoes. It was difficult to answer, but I finally said that I would. It would make me do things that I might not if I thought I had a lot of time left. I would spend more time with friends and family. I would probably do a lot of writing. I would let those closest to me know how much they meant in my life.

This is not going to be an easy time, especially after losing my mother to cancer nine months ago. So often I wish I could just go back in time. Back to my teen years when I didn't have a care in the world and Death hadn't yet come to call. But that is folly. I am where I am at this point in time as planned by someone or something much more powerful than me. I am blessed with a loving, supportive husband, and we have two wonderful little girls in our lives that bring us so much joy. I have an incredible network of friends who are there for me when the wheels fall off. I have family that has been dragged through Hell more times than I care to count, and I know we'll pull through this again. And I have faith that my mother and brother are waiting to welcome my father when his time with us here is done.

I can't believe that your father only has 3-6 months left. That's so sad. I think, like you, that I'd want to know.

I'm sorry :(
Post a Comment

<< Home

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?